I’m finally back!

Wow, well it’s been quite some time since I have updated my site. I want to sincerely apologize! My laptops charger and battery gave out on me, and I didn’t have the money to replace it, BUT my father brought me a new laptop for my birthday so I can finally continuously update everyday again.

It’s been a very stressful couple of months! I had finally found a job and was hired in November. Just this week I was recently suspended from my job at Chipotle Mexican Grill and was placed in a new drug treatment program due to my own safety. So let me being to tell you… I started my new job just last week. I had missed one day of training on Thursday (12/12) due to a problem that came up at my program. I was on line waiting for the program to open up and there was drugs everywhere! Benzos and heroin to be exact. There were kids on line with their parents, and all this drug use and buying/selling was going on! I don’t appreciate someone banging a bag of dope right in front of me, so I called him out and reported him to security. (Along with the drug dealer too.) Everyone started to riot and get out of control. They called me a snitch, a rat, they said they were going to slice my throat, I was going to die, they went as far as saying they would kill my kids and I would have to watch it all happen. It was complete and utter CHAOS.

I felt like I had to say something though. I knew it would happen, but everyone keeps their mouth shut, and it keeps on happening. I’m not the one to keep my mouth shut.. what If someone drops a bag or a pill and a child gets it and eats it?! The child may die! I think about things like this. I felt like my own personal recovery was on the line as well. It’s going to keep going on if nobody says anything. It’s not right. I don’t understand how they can enter a treatment facility, but still get high, continuously fail their drug tests, but the clinic still keeps them there.. knowing that they are still using and there’s no end in sight.

I had to take a day of training off, which was Thursday. On Friday I was scheduled for 10am till 3pm. I called my GM and asked if I can come in early so that I can make up for the day I missed and try to catch up. She said ok and scheduled me for 8am. When I went to my program in the morning, I had a bunch of angry addicts waiting for me, so I had to speak to the program director and manager about placing me in a new clinic, and someone escorting me to the train station so that nothing would happen to me, because they were all on kill mode. They wanted me dead for ratting out their dealers. I had to call my GM and tell her I might be up to an hour late. She said it was fine and to come in when I can, and I did. I arrived at my job at 8:15!!! I was ONLY 15 minutes late! She spoke to me and said that I need to handle my personal business first and she will allow me to join the team at a later time. I couldn’t believe it. I really couldn’t. No warning. No nothing. She said everything was okay and it was fine, but when I arrived and got there it was a totally different story. So I’m unemployed again for who knows how long now. I just want my boys to have a good Christmas, and they will now, but I can’t but them all I wanted to. I need to make some cut backs because of this.

This all happened because I really tried to do something good. I’m totally against selling drugs, using drugs, etc. I’m in recovery now and I don’t want to be bothered by that sort of stuff. Seeing that can make someone in recovery run right back out to the same things and back to active addiction. Oh well, at least I got 2 drug dealers off the street! Almost got killed for doing it, but that’s 2 less dealers East Harlem, NY has to worry about.

So that was my week to hell.

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2 thoughts on “I’m finally back!”

  1. Glad you’re back. Glad you’re alive. Glad you were let go…You’re kids are better off w/ a stand up Mom lookin’ out for her recovery and their best long run interests. Be careful…Be true to yourself and your recovery. Sometimes discretion of tongue and pen is necessary but, other times, it’s time to stand up and speak out. To Thine Own Self Be True…Keep The Faith…

    1. Thank you! I’ve actually spoken to the area manager and should be getting my job back. I’ll be meeting with another manager for a different location next week! I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

      I actually found out I was put on probation the day I alerted security what was going on. Apparently I’m responsible for the way everyone else acted! What I learned out of this is pretty sad. The program isn’t there for their clients like it should be. Unfortunately, it’s a business, and all they want is to get paid. All they see us patients as is DOLLAR SIGNS. The manager and director looked at me said, “Do you think you’re the police?” and that’s when I knew they didn’t care. They didn’t care that someone could be so careless as to drop a bag or a pill, and a child could have picked it up, possibly ate it and died. I understand the chance of that happening is slim, because lets face it, as a drug addict I know I would’ve made sure I didn’t lose a bag or a pill. I would have guarded that stuff with my life… but accidents happen. She didn’t care that my recovery was on the line. The only one who DID CARE, was my counselor.

      I even told the director, “I never told you who exactly was selling the drugs, just who was doing them. Don’t you want to know?” and she tells me, “We know who it was. Don’t worry.” I said to her “At least let me give you his name and his description. This needs to stop. You don’t understand what type of situation this put me in. I wanted to run out and score, but I thought of my kids, and how sick I used to be, and realized I was just dealing with some stinking thinking.” — that’s when she cut me off with “Do you think you’re the police?”

      She’ll understand when something devastating happens and the clinic has a lawsuit.

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